coaching

When The Management Policy Is “Don’t Come To Me …

Posted on by Janet Webb
Orange lifebelt ready for deployment

… with your problems; come with your solutions.”

I hear this style of management quoted often as being great practice; after all, a manager’s job is to coach.

An orange lifebelt ready for deployment by management.
When someone is drowning they don’t need a coach; they need a manager who jumps in.

And I would like to raise an alarm bell. If someone is drowning, they need you to throw a line, or even jump in with them. They don’t need you to coach them to swim.

How Would This Management Policy Work Here?

A few days ago, someone came to speak to me about a very current and desperate issue that they had been struggling with for days. They were at the end of their tether with a problem and were close to tears. If I had said

“and what do you think you should do about that? What are your options? What has worked before?”

I rather suspect that would have finished them off.

They didn’t need coaching. They did need someone to listen but they also needed some help. I wasn’t the expert but I was in a position where I could offer some ideas because I wasn’t the one drowning. I jumped in and offered a life belt. It was just enough to give them some space, take hold of their emotions and see a way through.

So What Is A Great Management Policy?

A manager’s job is to build the environment where individuals can thrive. Sometimes they need telling how to do stuff. Sometimes they absolutely do not. A blanket policy of “don’t come to me with your problems” means you never get to hear about their problems. And that’s not great either. So a policy that decides how you reply before they have spoken is no good. It doesn’t work for them and it doesn’t work for the manager.

Instead, dial up the empathy, listen carefully and then choose the right approach:  Tell, Teach, Mentor or Coach. Be the manager that people can come to and get what they need (which may not always be what they want.) You can only do that if you are empathetic enough and flexible enough to choose how to respond.

If you say don’t come to me with problems, what you are saying is “Don’t come to me, particularly when it’s really difficult” and no employee wants to hear that.

You can find other thoughts on great management practice here:

A Good Manager Asks The Target For Feedback

Help Your Team Find Some Solid Ground

What is Beyond Appraisal?

The Best Development; is it Reactive or Proactive?

Posted on by Janet Webb

There was a really interesting discussion on Twitter on the morning of Friday 5th Jan under the handle #LDInsight.*  We were discussing up skilling. One of the threads was about proactive versus reactive development and learning.  What has the most impact? It got me thinking about the management development that I am most happy delivering.

A Twitter chat that gave me the insight into the best management development.
#LDInsight Twitter chat

 

When we learn to drive we are given instruction, we have a go, we get feedback, we reflect and we try again. Instruction, practice, feedback, reflect, repeat. Eventually we are deemed competent to do it alone but the skill of being a good driver carries on being refined in the crucible of time and experience. (Of course, eventually, without care, we can become rubbish at it again!)

We learn best by being both proactive and reactive; by learning new “things”, applying them, reflecting and implementing new ways of working.

My Eureka Moment!

I was thinking about how this applied to training managers; what gives the best management development?

You can go on a course; there are plenty. There are courses for all levels, though you will find that the more senior you are, the more likely it is that the course is called Leadership Development. (And will almost certainly cost more.)

You can have a coach to help you through and refine your skill. Again, there are plenty. And again, you will pay more for a Leadership Coach and even more for an Executive Leadership Coach!  (There are various definitions of what is leadership and what is management. It does seem to me that leadership development costs more!)

And?

But how do you get both training and coaching in one place?

And then I realized that this is what I do.

In fact I would go so far as to say that this is what I am called to do. To mentor.

My Mentoring Service

To proactively give people input on:

  • how to do things differently
  • what makes our brains work the way that they do
  • how to support staff
  • how to be assertive  etc.

But also, to act as a coach. To help them:

  • reflect on what is currently happening for them
  • apply new techniques and learn from that
  • gain insight and alternative perspectives
  • develop their own coaching skills

Good managers need to be refined in the crucible – either one-2-one or, better still, with others in an Action Learning Set. For me this would be the best management development.

I genuinely think that is what I am here for.

 

* This is a weekly discussion, on Friday’s, hosted by @LnDConnect. We (and by that I mean anyone) discuss learning and development, it’s impact, it’s best practice and how to do it really well. Also organisational development, HR, life, the universe and everything. Join us?